Chloé’s Ramblings

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Weight loss news

I'm really excited about the latest weigh in. I've been struggling to get some workouts in recently, but last week I decided to exercise every single morning, no matter what, for at least 15 minutes. I did it, and it paid: I was down 1.8 lbs this week! YAY!! I know that part of this loss is hormones-related and might be back next week, but it still feels good to see the number go down again.

Here's my LO for the week. I also made it for SSD’s Sugar Free #44 and Color Challenge and TDC’s Color Challenge:

black pp: Black and White by Victoria’s {chirpi} Designs @,
green pp: Swishy Swashy by Cori Gammon,
Andrea Burns' Color Pop & Black and White Photo Action @ TDC,
notebook sheet: Sassy by Ksharonk,
font is Darcy Baldwin’s DJB Teacher @ TDC,
title alpha by Michelle Coleman,
buttons: Tiny Buttons by Valerie Fowler,
staple: My Baby Boy by Fee Jardine,
painted border for the pic: You and Me by Fee Jardine.

Journaling reads: ”It might sound stupid, but I sometimes have the feeling that there’s a beast inside of me, a terribly hungry beast that always want to eat and always crave for more and more food. No matter how much I know that junk food is just plain bad for me, the beast keep moving my arm until the pantry and make me open the cookies pack... AND I DON’T EVEN LIKE COOKIES!! Food has definitely been my main issue for this round, and for all my life actually. I’m still amazed by the independent life my mouth have from my brain. It’s surprising what I can eat without even noticing (or wanting to notice?... Mmmm, interesting question). But I’m now getting tired of having this hungry beast inside of me. I want to be the only one in my body, I want to make my decisions for food and not let some strange yet strong impulses guide me. I’m smart, I’m indepedent, I’m in charge, and I refuse to be submitted to anything or anybody. This is the reason why I quit smoking 8 years ago: I couldn’t stand the fact that I was dependent to something. I hate the idea that I can’t decide, and this is why food has become an enemy. I know this vision of things isn’t good, and that considering food as an enemy is the first step to eating disorder, but right now this is how I feel. Planning my menus is a chore, meals represent a cause of stress, either because I’m ending up frustrated, or because I feel guilty for indulging some “bad food”. There are enough tough things in life for not hurting myself with something that should be a pleasure. Enough is enough.”

I was quite surprised with the journaling after writing it: I didn't expected I would go that far!